How come normal people in San Francisco feel this need to act weird when there is a music or street festival for them to attend. I’ve noticed for most of them, acting weird is actually acting “weird” (use your fingers to make the quotes and say it slowly) in the most clichéd way possible: fluorescent or neon wig, American Apparel 70s track and field knock offs, slutty disposition (if you are a lady) and zany make up. This may not be specific just to SF. I have a feeling that most of college-age/college-mentality (I guess you can be any age to fit that category) America and beyond (I’ve seen some Glastonbury pics too) have somewhat adopted this style, when trying to be odd. That might have been considered a bit off-kilter in the fucking stone-age, but it's now 1999, we are on the cusp of a new millennium: notch your shit up or return to wearing your normal party-time fashion apparel. Do not half step. There are more than enough real weird people here in the Bay Area that will naturally outshine every contrived strange action that you would have to mentally and physically force out. I have no problem with you attending the street festival or public party and enjoying the activities that are offered to you, and if you want, you can still get just as drunk, stoned, loud, and/or embarrassing without looking like the ghost of Hollywood Blvd attending a rave. If you absolutely must dress up to feel wild and crazy, then at least put a little thought, money or creativity into it. This default outfit is getting a bit trying (unless you are being super sarcastic by dressing as a wild and crazy dude in the signature "weird" outfit; even then its probably not worth your time, as you'd have to explain it to everyone). Luckily,if you like to dress up, Halloween is right around the corner (but sadly, even Halloween frowns on your lackluster apparel)! If you absolutely need to don the gear with your cohorts, I grant full permission (since I’m the fucking authority on what you should and should not do) to throw costume parties on your own property. You can even bill them as “Clichéd American Apparel 70s Track Gear Parties”, just to keep everyone well informed that the same normal rules apply to your supposedly bizarre theme. It’s probably best to let people know that acid freaks, hobos, and grown men covered in real black market after-birth and latex will be turned away at the door.
I am writing all of this in response to San Francisco’s version of the Love Parade, which occurred last weekend. I did not attend, but I did see people dressed up at the bus stop and in the street, which was enough to remind me of other San Francisco events which produce similar decoration and behavior. Other examples are Bay to Breakers, and pretty much any street fair in the city, with the exception of the Folsom Street Fair. That one is truly in a league of its own (any fair that is devoted strictly to fetish and has an excess of public masturbation is on some next level shit).
Let’s talk about the Folsom Street Fair for a second. Although I have seen the movie Crusin’, I would not consider myself much of an expert on the leather scene. I would probably be scolded by a real leather daddy for even referencing that movie, since it’s probably an unfair depiction of the gay-leather subculture (regardless, it is absolutely priceless to see a young Al Pacino go undercover into the New York S&M scene of the late 70s). The Folsom Street Fair is advertised all over the city on bus windows and streetlamps in some of the most obvious commercial areas. I personally believe that it’s pretty tough to intuit the types of things that one might see at this public street fair based on its logo, which I am now aware is based on the leather pride flag (see both pics).
Even the artist/creator, Tony DeBlaise stated the following about the leather pride flag, “The flag is composed of nine horizontal stripes of equal width. From the top and from the bottom, the stripes alternate black and royal blue. The central stripe is white. In the upper left quadrant of the flag is a large red heart. I will leave it to the viewer to interpret the colors and symbols”. That basically means that it is impossible to even get close to deciphering anything about the culture of the flag based on the way it looks. This is okay when we are talking about various countries’ flags, because generally we are taught what they reference in school. Obviously when I see the Mexican flag, I do not interpret the flag’s symbols to keep me weary of nearby snake-eating eagles residing on cacti. Unfortunately for some, they do not teach the meaning of the leather pride flag in school, and I don't believe that it is common knowledge in the streets (I think it depends where you are, and your disposition). So if you can sense that a red heart with black, blue, and white stripes equals leather pride, you exist in an advanced and yet freaky dimension. Even as I type this right now at work, I have these pics up on my computer screen for all to see, and I'm sure that only about 10% of the people that have passed by my cubicle now think I am an "otter", "chaser" or "pocket bear". Imagine an average family of tourists in town for a week: they are most likely unfamiliar with the leather scene. I mean, they may know that the leather scene exists, and they may be perfectly fine with other people experiencing it, but generally it’s not something that they plan for the family to experience on vacation. They’d probably rather come to Pier 39, get some clam chowder, maybe a churro or two, and get a thrill from the world famous Bushman (RIP). Randomly during some shopping downtown, the son spots the Folsom Street Fair banner outside of Old Navy, mentions a street fair to the family, and it piques their collective interest. If they were fortunate enough to research the fair and check out the website, they’d know instantly that this isn’t a family friendly event. Unfortunately, they've decided to just take a cab, or walk, since its close to their hotel, and upon arrival, they would quickly discover that they’ve made a huge mistake and probably flee the scene immediately. It’s doubtful that anything too risque or earth-shattering (for a child of course) would happen in a few minutes (while they realize exactly what type of fair they are attending) and they’d probably be able to walk away from the event without seeing too much graphic material. As a parent (and I’m not one, but I think I can understand) it would really suck to have to answer all the questions that you’re kids would be asking you over the next couple of days. If you are lucky it would just be a couple awkward questions (Daddy, why were those men wearing make-up? Isn’t it too hot outside for leather pants?), but at the worst, your 5 year old daughter may have to take in the sight of public masturbation or some simulated fetish. All I’m implying is that they tweak the banner, or put some type of a warning on it, like “don’t bring your kids”. I remember my own personal surprise when I went to visit it (not knowing what the fuck I was getting into) when I was 22 and had just moved to San Francisco. Yes, I did see some public masturbation, and maybe I was mature enough to handle it. Still, someone or something could have at least let me know that the fair was probably not gonna be my scene, because the red heart with colored stripes somehow didn’t drive the point home.
Here is some terminology of the Bear Scene which I found in my research for this post. This doesn't really relate to Leather Pride unless you are a "leather bear", but I figured that its kinda interesting nonetheless. I pulled all this crap from Wikipedia so hopefully its correct.
Some terminology relating to the Bear community includes:
- Admirer - a term that refers to someone who is sexually or romantically attracted to Bears (this term is often used in various communities to describe an outsider who has sexual attraction to people within that community). Also often referred to as a Chaser. Admirers/Chasers can be of any weight, hairy or hairless and any age.
- Bear - a hairy man with a stocky or heavy-set build and facial hair. Can be clean shaven and of any age.
- Behr - A bear with a mustache but not a beard
- Bear run - a gathering or circuit party for Bear/Cub types and their Admirers.
- Black bear - an African American Bear
- Bruin - Athletic bear
- Chub - a heavier bear
- Cub - a younger (or younger looking) version of a Bear, typically but not always with a smaller frame. The term is sometimes used to imply the passive partner in a relationship. Can be hairy or hairless.
- Daddy bear - is an older guy sometimes looking for a daddy/son relationship with either a younger Bear, Cub, Otter, Wolf or Chaser.
- Ewok - A short bear.
- Goldilocks - a female, often heterosexual, who is often in the company of bears (a bear's fag hag).
- Koala Bear - A bear with light blond hair
- Leather bear - a bear with a leather fetish.
- Muscle bear - a muscular version of a Bear. A muscle cub is a younger or smaller, yet muscular, version. Can be hairy or hairless and of any age.
- Otter - a man who is hairy, but is not large or stocky - typically thinner, or with lean muscle.
- Panda bear - a bear of Asian ethnicity. A panda cub is younger version.
- Pocket bear - a short Bear.
- Polar bear - a silver- or white-haired Bear.
- Red bear - a red-haired bear. Also known as a Ginger Bear.
- Red Panda - A straight bear.
- Wolf - similar to an otter, though more aggressive.
- Woof - a greeting used when a Bear sees another Bear in public and wants to express physical attraction
R.J.'s Latest Arrival - Feel Desire
The Bar-Kays - Freaky Behavior
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