Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Tender Loving Companion

So very much to be pissed off about in America these days, that it generally makes you feel weak, pointless and apathetic. Unfortunately this directly translates to the sentiments put forth in current music; a vacant void of steam with the lasting power of a sleepy ethiopian midget. To really step up and write the call to action for the current generation you'd have to be a supergenius. How do you harness and personify the rage caused by the lack of signal strength to the iPhone into just a couple stanzas...and will it even remain relevant when the iHelmet comes out? At this point, what lyric/chord combination will really fuel an angry mob to storm the Staples Center.
That Thing - That Thing
Gemini - Ain't No Love (Better Than Your Love)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


Oh yeah, crap, I remember... I had a blog, and I let him die a slow gruelling death in some neon graveyard in webspace. I used to look at some other blogs with content that I thought was pretty funny, informative, or inspiring, and see this trend where the last few posts would be this tapered effect: going from a few posts per week, to once a week, to once a month. The last post would occur after about 3 or 4 months of non-activity. I always thought to myself, "Not me, man", of course I'd still be writing the 90,000th post on my death bed - with 70% of the world's population following me...the sarcastic poet/laureate of my generation.

But now I've covered myself in my own blog's skin like Wild Bill in Silence of Lambs, only to stare out into a mirror (unfortunately my real audience) in full mangina, and ask them if they'd fuck me.
Midnight Star - Curious

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Back n Forth

I'm in a mood and I have absolutely no intention of sharing it with blog (which usually isn't the case, as its actually more typical for me to share my exaggerated feelings with a small group of net lurkers).

So, I'll keep this short and informative. We got Grow Up going down again, August 4th, 2010 @ Madrone, with self-labeled "East Bay Acid Thugs" Party Effects, who may have the best website this side of 1995. Also Pat Les Stache, the brain behind the heavily influential American Athlete blog is our new resident DJ, so I should have no problems wiping away my frown, for the sake of getting down, once the tunes start to get pumped out. I think Nick Cave said something along the lines of that music can change your mood, and get you from a stationary position, to moving with abandon in a split second. I couldn't find the exact quote - which I'm sure is much more poignant than my recollection of it - as it was in some old issue of Mojo that is not easily accessible from a basic google search (but, i did happen to find this quote on practically every "quote" page, which sort of adhere's to my current mood, "I want to write songs that are so sad, the kind of sad where you take someones little finger and break it in three places." Ummm, back to square one I guess). Paaaarty!
Gene Dunlap - This One's On Me

Sunday, July 25, 2010


Some people just don't understand the physical consequences related to having a sense of humor. I mean, if I so happen to sip in a large gulp of my false marguerita-tini, and then I see someone basically solicit sex in real time without any regard to decency or tact, I believe that I am officially allowed to spit out my drink if its just been sipped up...and if, by chance, it happens to make contact with your dress (which is easily a size too small for you) then really, you shouldn't get mad. It was understandable to me...maybe?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Look Dude...

I've been traveling around a little bit, as its summer, and that's what you are supposed to do (right?). You're supposed to endure the summer elements of heat, humidity, bug bites and long lines; things that as a spoiled Californian, I normally don't have to deal with. Of course that means turning my back on blog, and stashing him away in some far corner without much hesitation (sorry bud!). If only I had a super telephone, so I could stay connected to my internet mistress at all moments...

Thanks to DJ Rance, I was able to borrow a portable unit of technology to conveniently record the Grow Up 1 Year Anniversary. Included in today's post are sets from Chungtech and the Jonas Reinhardt DJs. I personally was in rare form (I was actually talking to people) as the incurred light-headedness of blowing up about 60 balloons before-hand mixed with a combination of every hard liquor I could synthesize, really did a number on me.
Jonas Reinhardt DJs - DJ Set @ Grow Up 7/7/10
Chungtech - DJ Set @ Grow Up 7/7/10

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Grow Up 1 Year Anniversary, July 7th

The Grow Up 1 Year Anniversary is going down next week, Wednesday July 7th, 2010, the 188th day of the year (189th in leap years) in the Gregorian calendar. Now obviously since I have a vested interest in Grow Up, July 7th is therefore a very relevant date in my life. Let's take a look at some other important July 7s throughout history:
  • 1923, University of Delaware invents "junior year abroad" (at Sorbonne)
  • 1956, 7 Army trucks loaded with dynamite explode in middle of Cali, Columbia killing 1,100-1,200, destroying 2,000 buildings
  • 1972, Dutch Minister decides to ignore soft drug usage
  • 1973, 78 drown as flash flood sweeps a bus into a river, India
  • 1986, It is reported Boy George is being treated for heroin addiction
  • 1990, Bill Cullen, game show host (Price is Right), dies at 70 of cancer
  • 2006, The Western Black Rhinoceros is declared extinct due to poaching

Now, 4 years since mankind realized that they'd forced the WBR into leaving the planet for eternity, the Grow Up 1 Year Anniversary just so happens to be going down (and what a fruitful lineage we have to follow). Big line up on this one, as members of Jonas Reinhardt are DJing, along with Oakland's Chungtech. Excitement!

In honor of the 1 Year Anniversary, I'm putting up one of my alltime, high-figure-fetching-if-its-even-there-on-ebay tunes. If need be, look up the relevance of this track on someone else's blog. I got this one from the comp, Maiden Voyage, on Compost records, which has along with it a gaggle of other really seminal and/or rare jams for those who like to boogie.
James Mason - I Want Your Love

Friday, June 25, 2010

Soul of the North

There is something that is well weird about the whole Northern Soul movement that has just been kinda blowing my mind lately. I mean a bunch of working-class white UK tough guys working in a coal mine all day in some depressing shit town, trekking 200 miles on a friday night to pop pills and dance till dawn in matching wifebeaters to a rare Judy Street track (that basically sounds like a sunshine show tune) doesn't really seem to be the most possible of outcomes. I mean, to use the vernacular of the locals, that is relatively poncy behavior. Surprisingly, if you look at the type of dancing that went down at some of these joints, its basically on par with the breakdancing that was going down in the Bronx in the early 70's, except by a bunch of cockney whiteboys in oversized trousers. The quality that I find so endearing about Northern Soul, is that it's a music culture that strove to highlight the creme de la creme of failed American R&B 45s, and ultimately ressurect the careers of a handful of soul singers; likely leading them to quit their jobs (the ones they pined to get back after previously quitting their jobs to do music the first time) to sail from the colonies over to mother England, enjoy about ten minutes of success from a bunch of people who speak the same language, but still, are basically unintelligible in interviews, and then ultimately go back home and remain as failures. A touching tale, I know.

Anyways, I don't really like blogs that post youtube vids, likely cuz my attention span is short, the internet is slow at work, the quality often sucks, and you can't download/steal the track and listen to it in other formats (which, I'll admit is very hypocritical of me to say). But I have to post this vid, for this specific post, cuz it's just too perfect. Record a song in 1973, make the video in 2007 (after attending your cousin's funeral). Makes perfect sense, and why not vary it up with 3 seperate locations all with in 30 feet of each other, and some striking shades. "Making Love on a Mountain...Drinking Love from a Fountain".

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Personal Blog Solipsism Showerin'

I tend to take two showers per day. It's the ultimate initiation to, and closure of each day, and I can do practically everything (other than poo and shave; which I do simultaneously out of the shower) that is needed in there: Floss, Shampoo, Soap, Brush, Rinse, Lather, Excrete, etc. Now I've heard that this isn't exactly the best practice as my skin produces oils which are meant to remain on my epidermis for a bit (as opposed to getting consistently washed off twice per day). I think that my body, has instead overcompensated for my consistent shower schedule, and overproduces these skin-specific oils. This became very apparent when the water heater for my habitation-unit crapped out, leaving the hot water function ragged and useless. I did not shower for a full day and a half (practically sacrilege!), and I noticed that not only was I particularly oily, but also unable to sleep and wake properly due to my lacking of ritualistic behavior. Proof that for me, shower is king. I hope you care. I may have already wrote this post or something similar to it...ah, the mind is goin'.
Sir Lord Baltimore - Hell Hound

Thursday, June 10, 2010


There is something magical about the properties of scotch: it'll make you slap you best friend in the face, because they stated that Harry Nilson "doesn't do much for them". Scotch is like the fire to the flame of a poorly executed arguement. Its so fun to drink, especially on a Wednesday night when you should be at home doing something productive (or nothing at all, just not falling victim to the drink). Scotch turns my moderately sized nose a tad bigger, and often makes it red. It has accounted for some of the dumbest things that I have ever done, and I'm sure that I am not alone (ex: stealing alcohol from an open bar, asking out a women point blank without even speaking to her once beforehand and without properly constructed sentences, and some of the most mindnumbing two day hangovers in the history of liquid recovery). Regardless, it's still my favorite hard beverage, and even in my slow work coma state, I'm declaring June national scotch month. I don't even need to look for some dumb shit, as scotch simply makes the dumb a lot clearer.

Speaking of beverages, in looking for a pic to put up for this post I came across the following article. Apparently Andre the Giant was on a legendary alcoholic kick; I think its worth a read, despite the douchiness of a mag like Modern Drunkard.

Today's track is pretty straight ahead, with little metaphoric interference. It's about the lead singer Robert Brookins' desire to fill his female counterpart up with his love paint.
Afterbach - Wanna Fill You Up

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Japanese Comments

For whatever reason every time I put a post, some weirdo leaves a comment in japanese with a link to japanese porn. As much as I adore japanese porn (despite the fact that it rarely delivers), I am curious if this is a problem that faces the blogging community. I know that spam is a nuisance across almost all internet platforms, but I'm curious more as to whether its a strictly japansese porn thing thats hittin' the blogs. Is it specific to certain types of blogs, is it omnipresent, or is it just my blog that seems to be targeted. Since I am not well connected in the blog community (whatever that is) I'll probably never get to the bottom of it, but since this spamming fucker is somehow targeting my pithy blog, 私は日本のポルノへのリンクであるコメントについて興奮することにうんざりです。 あなた自身とセックスしに行ってください。.
Kermit - The Rainbow Connection

Friday, May 28, 2010


Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism. Hedonism.

UnRelaytEd, BUT wHen TEENage GURLZ tYpe LiKe thiS iT is REALLY TiTE! Also, it probably takes them a lot longer to think through the best ways to spell things wrong and capitalize random letters.

If Andrew W.K. did disco he'd probably do a song like this. He'd be great for the genre too, come join us Andrew.
Gary's Gang - Party Tonight!

Friday, May 21, 2010


Weird stuff is happening in my mind and body. I feel as if I've somehow graduated from anti-social to lurker, and my thoughts are getting streamlined and condensed; hammering repetitiously though my brain day in and day out. I need a light at the end of the tunnel. I need to set something on fire. Coffee and muffins no longer excite me and the disapproving looks that I'm receive while I mutter obscenities under my breath, are beginning to become more frequent. I've been watching people around me grab it and run with it; have they already attended that creative writing workshop in the sky? Does any of this make any sense? Are these rhetorical questions? At what point did the Motorcycle Boy drift from being a softspoken mystery-stud to a Joan Rivers nightmare? Can coffee throw you over the edge of sanity and into a pit of fast-paced and frequent bathroom trip despair?

Alright, so shit is messy and its clear to see that the cliff ends a few inches away. Luckily for me ebay has been the safety rope reeling me back in, and although my bank account would like to slap me in the face, bank accounts are not exactly tangible things that can act out on emotion and reason. Like a true American, I've found consolation in consumption.

The Whispers - Tonight

Monday, May 10, 2010

Keep It Alive

Alright, Alright. Gonna let blog breathe again. Caresse his clammy, regressed shoulder blades with lotions and oils in a candlelit room. All the bullshit that kept me from putting more than 5 minutes of effort into this thing per week has now (hopefully) ended, and although I still feel like a total crook for posting up MP3s, I guess I'm just gonna keep on. Blog feels naked and fragile without them; it's almost as if Mark Wahlberg doesn't have a penis, but you wouldn't know it because he's always wearing underwear, but the next thing you know, you are viewing a fully frontal Calvin Klien ad of him completely naked (and penis-less) with his underwear slung over his shoulder in a typical Brando pose. It'd be horrifying, sort of like the sex scene in The Man Who Fell To Earth, but it clearly makes more sense for Bowie to be neuter than Wahlberg. In the picture above, he clearly has a penis (as you can see, he is grabbing it, Edit: Photobucket apparently blocked the photo of Mark grabbing his cock, as it was just too lewd and crude, but here is an equally awesome one of him looking extra tough with a ciggy-rette and showing us some ink. Just search Mark Wahlberg on google images and you'll easily find the aformentioned photo), but I still think that my hypothetical parable still serves as a good example.
Shogun Assassin - Lone Wolf's Theme

Monday, May 3, 2010

Grow Up Self Promotion Volume 4

I know I've sworn off the whole blog thing for the moment, since I feel that with the new copyright laws around the corner I am A) encouraging illegal downloading and B) putting myself up on the chopping block to receive a $50,000 fine of sorts. Granted I am a very small fish in a very large pond, but my luck is horrible and erratic to put it mildly... I feel extremely guilty for contributing to a culture that no longer goes to the record store to search out the real deal; a culture that feels no guilt what-so-ever about straight jacking an album's worth of music from an artist, that is probably working 2 shitty jobs for a full year so they can have 2 hours of studio time. Or their label gives them a fat advance with out explaining to them, that all money spent on the album needs to be fully re-couped, and that they will ultimately receive no promotional help, and are now trapped into a manipulative contract for the next 5 years. Like blog, he is probably now starving to death, delusional, dreams ablaze; all faith for the future of music now charred and disgarded.

In happier news, Grow Up is this Wednesday, May 5th, 2010. Its Cinco de Mayo and we've got a Filipino male DJ (Marky) and a live set by a Polish lady (AmyWhoa). At least the flyer is festive. Maybe we'll tar and feather someone, but substitute the aformentioned ingredients with Guacamole and Chips. Is that a patriotic May 5th statement?

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Still Breathing

Weeeeeeeez...cough..cough...(still breathing)...
Hey, its blog. Help Me! I'm fucking suffocating...dying...bleeeeech (sounds of blood bubbling and vomit), gargle...
Dexter Wansel - Theme from the Planets
Tik Tok - Cool Running