Parasites

If you’ve ever recorded a mixtape as a single track (as opposed to cutting it up into multiple tracks, which is way cooler, and I still haven’t figured it out), it is often very surprising and saddening to see what happens as your mix comes up in iTunes. There are literally hundreds of thousands of single track CDs and mixes that have already been uploaded to the Gracenote Media Database, so not only has a single track CD to the exact time specification of your mix already been uploaded, but it is also likely on the fruit boot tip. The new mix that I just recorded came up as Cosmic Girl – To the End of the Earth, but luckily I forgot to delete the last 20 seconds of silence which extended after the end of the final record. After deleting it and bouncing it to disk, it now comes up as Deejay DAI – The Platinum Mix 2009; a significant improvement but not quite the marketing/notoriety that I’m looking for with a Hotthobo affair. I don’t want Deejay DAI blowing up on account of my selection, and I’d like to think that I have the Midas touch (although I have yet to use it). Maybe I should be optimistic about the mislabeling of my mixtape. Perhaps just mentioning Deejay DAI on blog will somehow boost my page views significantly, and we can have a symbiotic relationship where I burrow into his skin and function like that hookworm that you get from wading in urinals in Papua New Guinea which cures your allergies. As a hookworm, in the end I will multiply and conquer Deejay DAI, as explained by Dr. Hotez in the hyper-linked article above, “If a kid is infected with 25 hookworms, he’s being robbed of his daily iron requirement, and because the worms suppress the immune system, they can increase the host’s susceptibility to diseases like AIDS and malaria,”. I guess it’s not symbiotic when I end up killing him in the end (but at least I sort of win).

Moving on I’ve realized that I need to somehow identity-proof blog, so that real world interactions are not traced back to me personally, and so I am ultimately not fired from my job and judged by people that do not know me well. I've alluded to this in earlier posts, and with all the shit I talk about all the time I waste at work, it’s probably best that people at work do not read blog, as the post times (which are well documented) validate the fact that I often spend about as much time crafting this as I do doing whatever it is I’m paid to be doing. This means removing any promotional linkage on facebook, myspace, gmail, etc., and although this absolutely breaks my heart, it is necessary for my survival to go back into the depths (and let the fame come naturally. It will, I guarantee it!). I was told by a friend to also double check that blog’s filthy mug does not pop up when you google your real name (which I checked, only to find that some idiot with the same name as me has the worst Twitter page of all-time. Twitter never did anything for me unless it was some lunatic hobo lurking the streets with a Bluetooth and PDA. Then it’s kind of amazing). In that sense I am in the clear, but maybe like 4 people at work do know my DJ handle, and although there is virtually no chance of them ever googling that to find any information for any reason, the possibility does exist, which has given me the fear. Before you judge me, take into account that you are currently reading this and are hopefully entertained by my tales and logic (or lack thereof). I work free for you, boss, and although you have no creative control over the final product, you can always post a comment (I always get giddy when I see a new one), and you can download of bunch of tunes at high bit rates. So stop thinking about others, and get selfish for a sec: One Man’s Problem benefits you.
Charlie - Spacer Woman
Doris Norton - Personal Computer
Devo - Smart Patrol/Mr. DNA