Brilliant Observation

I was watching a lady with a walker today, and I noticed that the tennis ball is basically the standard issue accessory to use as a glider for the back legs of the apparatus (I already knew that, but it was reaffirmed). Does a brand new walker, come with a free Pringles can of tennis balls, or has this just been adopted by the elderly, as some insider trick (like how scratch DJs used to [and some may still] balance their needles by putting a penny on top of it)? The tennis balls on this lady’s walker were extremely faded and dilapidated, which was in complete contrast to her rather expensive attire. I would expect her to have the crème de la crème of tennis balls adorning her walker, but this was not the case, and to top it off, she was out in public (as opposed to in a home or hospital, i.e. safe havens for the elderly). This poses the question of whether new tennis balls function better, worse, or the same as worn down ones on a scale of walker glide-age. I mean how often do you see a walker with that fresh neon pop from a pristine box of Penns? Hardly, I’d assume, but I hardly ever see walkers, so it’s a double rarity for me. By now, it'd be wise to market a more durable walker glider type of ball or pad, and the product is out there, but the final commodity seems kinda retarded, as they’ve designed it to look exactly like a fucking tennis ball (it even has those lines that tennis balls have which doubtfully has any positive impact on the traction, see pic).

Although an effective tool, the tennis ball cheapens the image of the walker and its inhabitant, and its time for a change! If you drove a decent Acura, I don’t think you would choose to deck the rims out in protective Styrofoam, when there are a ton of better looking and more durable products out there for rimmage. Well, maybe when it comes to walkers the rules of high school apply: if everyone else is doing it, it just becomes acceptable and often desirable. I guess the elderly community is very similar to the kids in that show the Hills in that respect, in that their walker decisions are highly influenced by peer pressure and homogeny. I think it’s time to step it up and create the high end, classy version of the walker tennis ball. Market it to all the cool kids at the elderly home, and start the frenzy.
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