Its getting to be time to leave when:
1. A stranger starts a conversation with you by saying "Don't you love this bar? I mean everyone here is so cool, right?", but they are not being sarcastic.
2. You need to exit the freeway in a couple miles, so you put on your blinker and the guy to your right speeds up specifically to block you, so you can't get over. So you chill for a mile and wait for another gap, put on your blinker, and the same guy speeds up again to make sure you can't get over. And now he's mad dogging you and staring through you with the intensity of the devil, and you just missed your exit (btw, I'd been driving in the same lane for 20+ minutes so I didn't cut the dude off earlier or anything).
3. You're at a party in a hotel room with 20 people smoking indoors with no windows open.
4. It takes 30 min. at a minimum to get anywhere you are planning to go to.
5. Your favorite mom and pop owned stores and restaurants from your childhood are now the GAP and Verizon, and you drove 30 minutes in traffic just to find that out.
6. Certain males and females about town (at night, and specifically downtown), rock a touch of fake blood across the throat or under the eye for the sake of fashion (or maybe Halloween nostalgia?). You also have to hang out and conversate with them.
7. Your childhood bedroom, now looks like the posted photo.
8. Your mom gives you a pamplet titled "Best Sex In The World: A Guide", and tells you to check it out...and you do.
I Heart Los Angeles!
Mitch Hedburg - Soda Pop
Is it consolation to know that I actually had to stop the Mitch Hedburg recording to contemplate why his bacon tasted like change?
ReplyDelete(I figured it out after about 20 seconds...still, way too slow.)
Also: #8...for reals? Any elaboration on the context of such a handout?
CONTAIN YOURSELF
ReplyDelete