Discount

It's nice to know that my Bachelor's Degree was utilized today to its fullest potential. I was asked to remove staples from a packet of 20 handouts for my superior officer! I was really able to put my motor skills to use! I love it how at work, when I am asked to do a relatively complicated task, they address me very professionally, with even a tad of respect, and direct me like a normal human being. However, when I'm asked to do something ridiculous and insulting, I am instructed to do so as if I am retarded. Like today, I was approached with this tantamount staple-removal task, and instructed at an ultra loud and slow pace, with every word enunciated to its extreme. I'D LIKE YOU TO REMOVE THE STAPLES...AND THEN...REMOVE THE LAST PAGE...AND THEN...RE-STAPLE THE PACKET...DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THAT? Oh and also, can you please send us the budget update for the entire quarter, with all net gains and losses highlighted, and provide an explanation of the reason for any negative loss.

New edit up...some acidic business.
Mr. Lee - Pump Up London (Hotthobo Edit)

Sweaterfunk...MuhmuhMEEE!

Getting self-promotional up on blog again. Even when I'm not promoting myself as a DJ, I'm promoting my feelings or lack thereof, by spewing my soul out through my fingertips, here. Cathartic! (and trite). Not that feelings need to be promoted to random net surfers that I don't know. I'm getting off topic...

So, probably my favorite weekly night in SF, Sweaterfunk is having me DJ on April 4th, which is quite a task as well as an honor. The Sweaterfunk crew is composed of a bunch of "tightly knit" DJs, record diggers, and producers who know their shit so to speak, and I've always been impressed with the high level of rare expensive wax that gets thrown down, as well as the obscure dollar bin boogie jams, that only see the light of day (actually the dark of night, since its in the basement of the Li Po Lounge) at that spot. So, I gotta dig out all the jams that I think will both rock the party and impress the judges, which has reduced me to a neurotic and critical mess (but I'll pull through though). I'd seriously be there every Sunday if it wasn't for my robotic 9-5 work schedule, and the fact that I live on the exact opposite side of the city. Anyways, check the flier and come out to lay Easter Sunday to waste.

I'm putting up the A and B side of a jam that I'd love to play at a night like this, but won't, as it's too warped for me to really mess with (without having to pray that it doesn't become a skipping nightmare).
Master Jam - Dancin' All Night
Master Jam - Dancin' All Night (Instrumental)

MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

This is a me post, and I don't even want to pretend that its not. Me!!!!! Anyhow, Amywhoa and I worked on an edit of this weird song by The Seiko Brothers, called Children of the Universe, which she grabbed over in Scotland (solely cuz the record [a compilation called Exiled] had a cool logo). Pat Les Stache over at American Athelete put it up on his awesome blog, so go here and download it now.

Plugs: Grow Up

The Monthly Shameless SELF-PROMOTION post has hit again. Yes lemmings, Grow Up is upon us, on March 3rd (2010 btw. 2011 and beyond people, take heed), at Madrone Lounge in San Francisco (and its free!). Maybe its best to just copy and paste the last post I did for Grow Up and save myself that extra bit of time (I just tried to do this by the way, but it turns out it'd be much easier to just write it). So this month we've got heavy-hitter Altair Nouveau (of super label DFA btw, and Solardisco) who will be doing his last DJ set here in SF, before moving to NYC to actually live his life to the fullest (we all know that you can only partially live it up in SF). Also guesting it up, is SF producer/DJ, The Beat Broker (SENTRALL, Flexx, Hands of Time) who has been on fire lately putting out a bunch of new 12"s. I'd like to point out, and this is entirely coincidental, that Myself (Hotthobo), Altair, Beat Broker, and Fenstar, are all (under)graduates of the University of California, Santa Barbara, at different points in time, from '97 - '05 (I think). So we've all experienced the negatives and positives that accompany living in a place comprised mainly of rich whites and working class Mexicans, with perfect weather and an intense, yet homogeneously flawed nightlife and culture. I'm sure this will somehow be reflected (abstractly) in our selections.

So, for this Grow Up, the same rules apply. If you show up, and I don't know you, and you tell me that you're attending Grow Up solely due to the blog, I'll be obligated to buy you a cheap beer. Last time, no one did, but people (I'd never met before) did introduce themselves, a few of whom, even told me that they'd seen OMP. This leads me to assume that either they were too modest to ask for a free drink, or they checked it out once, said "eh, whatever", and brought it up solely for the sake of conversation, not knowing that they could get free beer outta me. Either is okay with me. There are some rules though. Like once you get the beer from me, you can't tell all your friends it worked. Honor system applies people: I'm actually trying to save up some cash right now in preparation for taxes, so don't be fucking with my bank account in order to realize some sly hustle (that I'm calling out right now anyways). If you do that, its both trite, and rude.
Etienne Daho - Il Ne Dira Pas

100

Well, One Man’s Problem, has made it to its 100th post!!!! Big fucking deal, right?!? Perhaps not to you, but for me, it’s like defeating that one level of Mega Man that gave me such a hard time as an adolescent. There were no significant changes in my life after the boss had been defeated, and it wasn’t like I’d beat the entire game; it was just a checkpoint that I could officially lay to waste. So, at this instant, if “wasting time at work” was a legitimate sport, I like to think that I’d be drafted into the minors, or at least on the radar of some respectable scouts. I mean there is something about the number 100 that is more significant and relevant than say 87. I’d like to say dignified too, but, I could’ve just dug up my 100th grave to have unprotected necrophiliac sex. So I’ll settle for significant and relevant.

On my way back from lunch, while brainstorming a topic to include on my 100th post, I was able to come across something a bit off topic, which I have to include, that I think holds true to many of the sentiments expressed here on the blog (mostly, how extremely depressing events [that don’t involve physical pain or destruction] that don’t relate directly to my personal life, often juice me up. I hate to say that I wallow in others’ sorrow, but if there is a certain sense of humor in that sorrow, where it becomes bittersweet, it just destroys me in the best way). As I just walked back to work from my lunch, I saw a bum in the corner of a packed parking lot, slumped over with his pants half off, singing (loudly and surprisingly in key) “Let’s Get It On” into a Schlitz microphone. I know it's messed up, but it couldn’t have made me happier: instant smiles, among a crowd of horrified tourists.

So, despite the fact that one of my least favorite holidays, Valentine’s Day, occurred over the last weekend, I was still able to have a relatively epic time here is San Francisco. V-Day is always, and I assume, will always, be a tough day to cope with, regardless of relationship status. It either affirms a sense of pathetic loneliness, creates guilt for any half-way, unfulfilling or strictly sex based relationship a person might have (which are either entirely doomed or pointless), and/or hustles one's brain and wallet in an intense rush to sheepishly meet any televised or government-ordained, neurotic Valentine’s Day criteria that has been consumed and accepted by lovers across this continent since birth. Regardless, I was able to spend some money on my true (and partially tangible) love at the KUSF Rock n Swap Record Fair. I could probably write a couple pages that outline just how weird I think these events are, and expand about all the record collector/reseller stereotypes and anomalies that you’d observe in the period of an hour. Perhaps I will in the future, and hopefully I can get that article published in Sweatpants Quarterly. I’m sure that I fit the exact mold of your common record nerd, with impulsive/feeble budgeting skills and odd neurological social ticks, and I could also expand on that. But, for now I’d like to just list a couple stand out moments from the two hours that I spent stimulating my eyes and ears with my so-called “peers”:
1. Watched a guy scratch his balls for a full minute while explaining his pricing system to me.
2. When I asked if the price could be negotiated for a particular record, some seller psyched me out saying he’d sell a $40 dollar record to me for $15 bucks. When I said “really?” with some excitement, he looked me dead in the eyes, paused, and said “No!” and snickered. For the record (not to get literal, waka, waka, waka) I’d never met or talked with this guy in my life before our little conversation.
3. Observing two nymphets (possibly aged anywhere from 15 to 22 years old) in short shorts and revealing tops pass by a table of ugly old men, and watching as all of them stopped whatever conversation or browsing was occurring, to focus their communal energy on staring at these girls' assess in unison.
4. The guy that told me that the DJs are the only ones who buy the “Queer” music off him.
5. The guy, who didn’t have a record under $30 for sale, who lectured me with a straight face (and without me even asking) that his definition of “VG” or “Very Good” condition trumped all other sellers in the building. To put it in his words, “My VG is everyone else’s Mint. Some of these guys wouldn’t know a Mint record if it was still sealed”. I assume he uses that line often.
6. Two jazz aficionados arguing loud and arrogantly about which label was the most relevant: Blue Note, Verve, or Prestige.
7. Lastly, the sweatpants/balding long hair combo, who dropped his piece of pizza, face down onto the dirty carpet (that everyone had been pacing around on all day), and then rapidly picked it up and ate it with no hint of remorse in front of everybody there.
The Three Degrees - The Runner (Loose Shus & Hotthobo Edit)
Incredible Bongo Band - Bongo Rock
Split Endz - Poor Boy
Dynasty - Here I Am
Dynasty - Revenge
Herbie Hancock - Magic Number

GROW UP

So GROW UP, the night that I co-promote with some friends, is back in effect, and I'm excited. This may be a repetitive notion, but promoting the night on my blog, will have no effect. The chance that someone from the Bay Area (that I don't already know) will stumble upon this posting and decide to go to the show is highly unlikely. Any Vulcan could tell you that.

So, Come to Madrone, Wednesday February 3rd, (2010, incase you are a year late or something) from 9:30pm - 2am. Special Guests, Loose Shus (Plant) and Pat Les Stache (American Athelete, Cabana Disco) along with residents, Sick Face, ME! (Hotthobo), and Fenstar will be providing the tunes. If I don't already know you, and you tell me you are at the club solely based on this blog, I'll buy you a drink.

Regardless, I have a disco mix that I made at least a month ago or so, which I didn't put up on the blog initially, because I thought that some other blog with higher readership would be interested in it. Ended up not being the case, due mainly to my own laziness and humility (and inability to cold email people the mix and suck on their knobs about how their blog is the greatest and how I'd feel super priviledged to have my mix up with their site's amazing content, yadda, yadda, yadda). So the mix is in its right place, here on One Man's Problem, available to the very few people that accidentally stumble upon the site, based on some combination of words they looked up on google.

Download my mix below!
Hotthobo - Disco Misco

PLAYER ERROR!

This about as self promotional as I get, but... My newest mixtape Player Error is up on the Beat Electric Blog right now. This blog is far superior to mine, both in terms of readership and the consistent quality/rarity of tracks they post, so I'm pretty juiced to have my mix up there.

Check out and download Player Error here.

Sex vs. Power

Obviously Sexual Harassment is not a particularly funny topic, but I think that about 1% of my sexual harassment training could be interpreted as funny (to a certain extent, and as they say in the training, "different people often have quite different perspectives on harassment". True that). So, the following is funny to me. I assume this makes me a bad person.

Here are a few of the no-no’s I liked:
· grunts, wolf whistles, catcalls, hoots, sucking noises, lip-smacks and animal noises
· looking up and down (elevator eyes)
· winking, licking lips
· uninvited neck massaging
· stalking

Here is a really tough question:
For the past two years, Denise, a file room clerk, has been subjected daily to fondling, hugging and kissing from her supervisor against her will.
Ask yourself:Is this behavior severe, mild, or somewhere in between?
Then ask yourself:Would a reasonable person judge this behavior as sexual harassment?

Sadly, I got a kick out of this story:
First, we will consider Jan, the outgoing, older woman, who pays a lot of attention to Roy, the young man with a mental disability. Jan’s attentions include exaggerated flirting and even touching and rubbing against Roy. The young man is very uncomfortable with this behavior and does not reciprocate. Do you believe that Jan would behave in the same way if Roy were someone she considered her equal? Someone her own age and status, with no impairment and who may assertively tell her to back-off? It is unlikely that Jan would continue the aggressive sexual behavior toward such a person. It is only Roy’s image as someone vulnerable or helpless that gives Jan the feeling that she may continue the behavior, even when it is clearly unwelcome to Roy

The following are a list of emotions that one might feel after being harassed at work. Unfortunately I feel these emotions daily without that harassment:
· depression, anxiety, shock, denial
· anger, fear, frustration, irritability
· insecurity, embarrassment, feelings of betrayal
· confusion, feelings of powerlessness
· shame, low self-esteem, self-consciousness
· guilt, self-blame, isolation

I thought there would be more funny to put up, but apparently that’s it. That and all the pics posted are the extent of the chuckles of the sexual harassment training. The shittiest thing is its online and takes about 45 minutes to complete, but there is a required timeframe of 2 hours before you can take the test while you have to be logged in (and you can’t be on any page for longer than 3 min, so I’m writing this and switching pages every so often to kill the timer).

If you are in SF tonight and wanna get down to disco and boogie in a club full of low-lifes and hustlers, come check ME! ME! ME! djing with BT Magnum at 800 Larkin. ME!
Eddie Tour - Heartache (Instrumental Re-edit)
Jo Jo - Mind Games

Edits aka Me Me Me!

Disco Edits currently take little to no talent to do. It is safe to say that because I’ve done them, and I have little to no talent. Back in the day, it was a pretty serious process, where you’d have to record the track to a reel to reel, then physically cut out the sections of the track that you wanted to use, and tape it to the other cut out sections in the order that you prefer. Anytime you wanted to loop or repeat a section, you'd have to re-record from the master and cut it out. When you are done, you'd just record your doctored tape reel and you have your edit. Understandably there were a lot of really crummy edits from the late 70s and 80s, partially due to the headaches of having to physically cut and arrange all that tape. There was no “Ctrl Z” to redo any of your mistakes, and I’m assuming it would be easy to spend all night in a coffee fueled haze, cutting and taping shit up repeatedly, only to find out that it doesn’t sound sonically believable or make sense in context to the rest of the song, or that some of your cuts are a couple milliseconds off, making it sound dodgy and amateur.

I think that they do serve a good purpose though; which is to make tracks more dynamic on the dance floor, and to remove the bits that the editor deems unsuited for the crowd or their own personal tastes. Basically juice up all the best parts with Gatorade and re-arrange them sensibly in the cliched dance-track format. Often times edits just make tracks mixable for djs, by just giving them a quantized intro and outro, and leave the meat of the track relatively unfazed. I get that, as I have a few cuts that are literally un-mixable, and therefore I pretty much would never play them. A lot of times the edits are totally pointless and do nothing but loop a couple sections and rearrange a few things with no regard to the impact that these changes will have on a listener, and the original basically takes a shit on its imitator.

In a recent interview, Juan Maclean deems disco edits to follow in suit with an “undercurrent of homophobia in the dance music scene”, and that the songs are then “de-gayed” and just the tough parts are left in. The edit that I'm putting up today is definitely de-gayed to a certain extent, but I left some of the gay in, as I wanted it to appeal to all sexual orientations, and I wanted some of the lyrical character of the song to remain for those that have heard the original. There is a certain type of threshold that I have with disco and club songs, where I can take a certain level of campy-ness, but once it eclipses that point (and it’s not that I no longer like the song) I just can’t really play it for people with a straight face. If that is considered musical homophobia, then I plead guilty. Maybe to make up for it, I should make two versions of any edit: do the version that I’d normally do, which would probably be about 50% as gay as the original (if the original is gay, which is not always the case), and then do another version that only uses only the gayest parts and make a “Megay-mix”. So posted below is the edit I did of Infatuation by Up Front. ME!!!!!! Ups to the drummer from Jonas Reinhardt (Damon, I think) who told me what it was when I heard it at a club, to any of the folks that have blogs that posted up high quality copies of the original so I could get it for free, Loose Shus/AmyWhoa for mastering help, and to Ebay for letting me score a copy for $6 so I didn't feel like a total fraud.

Also I put up a cool edit done by Danny Krivit of Dance to the Music by Sly and The Family Stone. It would be hard to say that this edit de-gays the original as the original isn't exactly gay, (its a funk track, not disco, not that funk can't be gay, but... I posted another Krivit edit of You Got Me Running by Lenny Williams a few posts back and you can test the de-gayed theory on that one). This is one of those impressive old school razor-blade edits which, when done properly, deserves much more kudos than anything done in Pro Tools.
Up Front - Infatuation (Hotthobo Loooooong Edit)
Sly and The Family Stone - Dance To the Music (Medley)