Scumstache

There are a ton of little bullshit tasks that I wish I could somehow eliminate from my life without ever having to deal with any of the consequences. The ones that really seem to provide me with the most anguish deal primarily with haircuts and shaving. I’ve already provided blog with a long account of my hatred of haircuts, so now it’s time to rant about something that happens even more frequently, and granted, has less risk. I mean if you get a shit haircut, it’s the pits for at least 3 weeks, or until you buzz your head down to size. Shaving is more like a constant mosquito nipping at you ever two days, reminding you (at least in my case) that you could never grow any impressive facial hair other than a scumstache (thank you 25% french canadian heritage) or the dreaded neck beard. Plus blood will be drawn, occasionally, which always seems to happen before a wedding or a (court) date. I can’t foresee any time in my life that I would actually grow anything out and keep a mustache, beard, muttonchops, etc…; sideburns are the extent of the facial look for me.

I’ve actually considered getting the laser hair removal on my face, as the thought of not having to shave 120 times per year seems on the surface to be an nice advantage. However, perhaps having a neck beard will be the new scarf in 2020, and I’d hate to not be adequately equipped to participate in any fledging trend. Laser hair removal is pretty tight though. I mean, if I wanted to, I could permanently etch something cool and simple, like a music note, into my cheek, and people would say "Hey, that dude, likes music". All at once they would understand my bond with sound waves. There was this one dude at my high school, and I forget his name (but it was something epic like “Jazz” or “Turbo”), and not only was he mature beyond his years (both physically and mentally), but he could pull off an entire neon green Sean John jumpsuit with neon green Saucony Shadows (in the exact same hue), and also rocked cool designs in his facial hair, like half a basketball, or a diamond. All the girls loved him, he like, knew all the janitors by their slang/street names, teachers cut him slack, and everybody was giving him 5 at all times.
Golden Dawn - I'll Be Around