Sweaterfunk...MuhmuhMEEE!

Getting self-promotional up on blog again. Even when I'm not promoting myself as a DJ, I'm promoting my feelings or lack thereof, by spewing my soul out through my fingertips, here. Cathartic! (and trite). Not that feelings need to be promoted to random net surfers that I don't know. I'm getting off topic...

So, probably my favorite weekly night in SF, Sweaterfunk is having me DJ on April 4th, which is quite a task as well as an honor. The Sweaterfunk crew is composed of a bunch of "tightly knit" DJs, record diggers, and producers who know their shit so to speak, and I've always been impressed with the high level of rare expensive wax that gets thrown down, as well as the obscure dollar bin boogie jams, that only see the light of day (actually the dark of night, since its in the basement of the Li Po Lounge) at that spot. So, I gotta dig out all the jams that I think will both rock the party and impress the judges, which has reduced me to a neurotic and critical mess (but I'll pull through though). I'd seriously be there every Sunday if it wasn't for my robotic 9-5 work schedule, and the fact that I live on the exact opposite side of the city. Anyways, check the flier and come out to lay Easter Sunday to waste.

I'm putting up the A and B side of a jam that I'd love to play at a night like this, but won't, as it's too warped for me to really mess with (without having to pray that it doesn't become a skipping nightmare).
Master Jam - Dancin' All Night
Master Jam - Dancin' All Night (Instrumental)

Gormandize

What the hell is going on with people’s dietary choices. This little asian girl (a very FOBby one at that) told me that she was feeling sick today since all she ate yesterday was sugar. I laughed thinking that she just over indulged a bit, but then she explained that she had two donuts for breakfast, a pastry for lunch, and then had cake for dinner for someone’s birthday. That was all that she fucking ate yesterday. As shitty as that sounds, it caused me to ponder whether it is worse to ingest sweets all day long, or to omit from eating completely, and just drink beer and liquor continuously. One path gives you acne and headaches, and the other makes you into an irrational weirdo with nothing to vomit, that passes out and then wakes up with acne and headaches. Unfortunately I tend to favor the latter path every so often, and although it seems much worse on paper, it just sort of happens sometimes without much of a plan (it still seems better to me, even when I have my fingers rammed down my throat hanging over the toilet for five minutes, with nothing coming out of my mouth. For the record I’ve gotten better about not making that mistake). I think the sugar route tends to be more premeditated, but I guess it can also be coincidental (that only sugary products are available for consumption in a given day). People don't realize that sugar is a fucking drug, slanged out on a massive scale by huge corporations to the youngest of children, and the oldest of adults. Its effects, though not as jarring, last longer than something like nitrous or even salvia, and when used unremittingly, may be responsible for conditions like diabetes mellitus and for thousands of dollars to be wasted on oral maintenance. Take heed, sugar destroys lives.
Eazy - Project Funk
Eazy - Project Funk (Instrumental)

PLAYER ERROR!

This about as self promotional as I get, but... My newest mixtape Player Error is up on the Beat Electric Blog right now. This blog is far superior to mine, both in terms of readership and the consistent quality/rarity of tracks they post, so I'm pretty juiced to have my mix up there.

Check out and download Player Error here.

There's Too Many Words

It must suck to visit blog with the sole intention of downloading some tunes for free and having to scroll down through all the pointless text to get to the real meat. In our current, fast-paced, instant gratification world, One Man’s Problem does not always instantly gratify, and I assume that the average net surfer would tire of the extra 5 to 10 seconds they are wasting with their finger depressed on the clicker. I mean this in all seriousness (I know that I have a penchant for sarcasm which doesn’t always translate well in type, since it’s hard to enunciate text; you have to use CAPS, underline, or color the word, and even that doesn’t always drive your point as intended. There was a Mr. Show episode where David Cross writes to some cereal company about how much he LOVES their cereal, so they keep sending him free cereal boxes, and he’s all pissed that they don’t get it. Conversely, once a person gets accustomed to the sarcasm in print, it’s also tough for them to ever take you seriously again. I guess I’d still prefer the latter) and the main criticism I've received regarding blog (other than "its a pointless waste of time") is that the posts are too long. I guess in order to somehow focus the downloader’s attention I could post the link within the text (color-coded of course, otherwise, they’d get flustered and just 86 the site, without free tunes), so they’d probably have to at least read that particular sentence. I could pepper up the sentence with either some radically interesting factual information (like every other blog, and only if it exists), some bizarre fiction about the artist, or create some fake internet award to suck the reader in and procure a click. I was going to provide examples, but I’m over it, as the track You Can Do It by the band Five Special, who I’m posting up today, is totally uninteresting, aside from the fact that they were produced by Ron Banks of the Dramatics, older brother to band member Brian Banks. Then I found out that shortly after recording the dub version of the aforementioned song, You Can Do It (Dub), band member Steve Harris photographed the world’s first unicorn in a barn adjacent to his house just outside of Dearborn, MI (this was quickly covered up by the FBI). If you are reading this now, you are the 1,000th viewer of this post, and you are subject to a $10,000,000 Dollar Cash Prize: Click here to claim your prize, Five Special – Sexy Lady.